Hot and Cold…
Don’t you just hate when you’re not sure what someone thinks of you, like honestly thinks of you, and this causes you madness since you’ve told them several times about how you feel about them. Yeah, well whats worse is when they NEVER say anything to you about how they feel and only seem to be interested in you when there is alcohol. Then you hit absolute shit storm when even while they’re drunk, when you ask them what they think about you or pour your guts and put your heart (skewered on a plastic sword of course) in their martini, they still seem to avoid your question and never give you a clear answer.
Sometimes I wish that people weren’t so timid. I know I’m very timid when it comes to opportunities, but I mean when you give it to them on a silver platter and they sniff the dish and take a few items off the edges, but they never go for the entree. At that point you want to just grab them and pin them against a wall and seduce them, but you know that you can’t do that since they will think that you are too crazy and controlling from being very direct in your actions. But also, you realize that you teasing them isn’t quite working since they are very busy and never seem to remember that you are a friend in their life, even if there isn’t going to be anything more.
Sometimes I think that people end up doing this either because they love, and I mean truly love, the thrill of the chase. Its either that or they have so many walls that they are afraid to let people in or even trust to talk to that person about it. But sometimes you still dangle yourself in front of them and hope that they bite so that you can know what is going on at least.
We fear rejection and so we try to protect ourselves accordingly. What we don’t realize however is that we are shutting out people to being a part of our lives and see how deeply we can connect to them. This doesn’t have to be farther than a friend level though, and thats what people seem to forget. We forget that we can trust people sometimes and only focus on our bad experiences with people’s human nature of pride and greed. So even while we see someone putting themselves out for us, we tend to shy away from that person for fear of hurt and rejection.
But all that person putting themselves up for you on a platter is wondering is if you want them or even if you like them. Even if its for a physical reason, or to reassure them at night. If none of those get answered, then you wonder why those people don’t want you and you end up dwelling on that in your mind till it drives you mad. To the point even that you look down upon that person and get jealous of the people that they hang out with, but maybe only because you might be jealous that the person’s attention is focused on their friends and not solely on you. But hey, while you’re at the party, you might as well have fun. So don’t dwell on the negative, just go back to dangling yourself out there in that sea; and if that fish isn’t biting, then maybe you just aren’t the right kind of bait for that fish but you could be the right bait for an even bigger fish is pondering just when to nibble on your hook.
Sometimes I wish people were more blunt, that way neither side has any misunderstood expectations…
The song in this post is “Do you Fancy Me (Bluff)” by Kerry Leatham. The songs and the copyrights are not my own, nor do I claim them to be :)